Support and resources · 8 min read · October 25, 2026
By the StayWith team
Pet Loss Support Groups and Helplines: Where to Find People Who Understand
When a pet dies, the hardest part is often that nobody around you seems to understand. Pet loss support groups and helplines exist precisely for that gap. The main options are the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement at aplb.org, Lap of Love's pet loss hotline at (855) 352-5683, university hotlines including Cornell and UC Davis, and the r/petloss community on Reddit.
What kind of help is right for me?
Start with what tonight feels like. If it is two in the morning and you cannot sleep and you need a person right now, call a helpline. If you want to talk regularly with people who have been through the same thing, join a group. If the grief has lasted many months and you cannot function, talk to a therapist. If you prefer writing to talking, try an online community.
You do not have to pick one forever. Many people call a helpline once, then join a group, then leave the group when they are ready. The right help is the help you will actually use, so start with whatever feels least frightening. Our guide on coping with losing a dog covers what helps day to day alongside these options.
Which national organizations and hotlines can I call?
The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement, known as APLB, is a nonprofit organization that has supported grieving pet owners for decades. Its website is aplb.org. It runs free moderated chat rooms hosted by trained volunteers, several nights a week, where you can talk or simply listen. It also runs video support groups and webinars, offers online pet memorial pages, and keeps a directory of pet loss services. Some video groups and webinars are part of paid membership, so check the website for current details.
Lap of Love, a national provider of at home veterinary hospice and euthanasia, runs a Pet Loss and Bereavement Hotline at (855) 352-5683. Its certified pet loss coaches also lead free and fee based virtual small groups, private one to one sessions, and longer courses. Check the Lap of Love website for current hotline hours, as they can change.
The ASPCA runs a pet loss hotline at (877) 474-3310, staffed by trained counselors. It is a useful number to keep alongside the others.
Before you call, know that you will not be asked to explain or justify your grief. You can stay anonymous. You can cry. You can say very little. The call is yours.
What happens on the call is simpler than people fear. The person who answers will say hello, ask your name if you want to give it, and ask about your pet. You can talk for twenty minutes or two. You can cry. You can say very little, and they will wait. They will not ask you to explain why a dog matters so much, because they already know. Most calls last somewhere between ten and thirty minutes, though nobody will rush you off the line. If the line is busy, try again in a little while, or try a different number. Calling more than once is normal. Some people call the same line several nights in a row during the worst week, and then stop when the nights get easier. That is what the line is for.
What does a first group session actually look like?
A first session is usually smaller and quieter than people imagine. For an online group, you click a link, join with your camera on or off, and the facilitator welcomes everyone. There is often a short check in, where each person says their name and their pet's name, and how the week has been. You can say a lot or almost nothing. Then the group talks, one person at a time, about whatever is on their mind: the empty house, the guilt, the anniversary coming up. The facilitator keeps the conversation kind and makes sure nobody dominates. A session usually lasts about an hour. You can leave early if you need to, and nobody will chase you. Afterward, you may feel lighter, or tired, or both. In person groups work the same way, with chairs in a circle and tea. The first time is the hardest part. The second time, you will know the faces, and it will feel less strange.
What about the university veterinary hotlines?
Some of the oldest pet loss helplines are run by veterinary schools, staffed by trained student volunteers, and free to anyone. The very first pet loss support hotline was set up in 1989 at the University of California at Davis, and several other schools followed its model.
Cornell runs its Pet Loss Support Hotline at (607) 218-7457, staffed by volunteer veterinary students trained with professional grief counselors. Hours vary by season, so check the Cornell veterinary college website before calling.
UC Davis runs its Pet Loss Support Hotline at (800) 565-1526, Monday to Friday, 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. Pacific time. Tufts University runs a pet loss support hotline at (508) 839-7966, Monday to Thursday, 6 to 9 p.m. Eastern time, with a 24 hour voicemail.
Michigan State University runs a free virtual pet loss support group, meeting on the second and fourth Thursdays of each month from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. via Zoom. It is open to anyone who has lost a pet. Tennessee and Illinois run similar helplines.
Where can I find support online?
If talking on the phone feels like too much, an online community can be a gentler first step. The largest is r/petloss on Reddit, where people post about their pets at all hours and get replies from others who are awake and grieving too. Read for a while before posting, and when you do, say the pet's name and a little about them.
The APLB chat rooms are a middle ground between a forum and a phone call: live, but typed, and moderated by trained hosts. Facebook also has many pet loss groups, but their quality varies widely. Before joining one, check that it is actively moderated and supportive. A badly moderated group can make a hard week worse.
What should I ask before I join or book?
A few questions will save you a bad first experience. Is the group only for pet loss, or mixed with other kinds of grief? Is it moderated, and by whom? Do I need to register, or can I just turn up? Is it free, and if not, what does it cost? Can I bring my partner, or is it one person per household? Is it all right if I cry, and is it all right if I say nothing? A good group will answer all of these plainly on its website or by email. If a group has no moderator, no rules, and no way to contact anyone, that is a warning sign. The same questions work for a therapist: have you worked with pet loss before, do you take it seriously, what do your sessions cost, and do you offer a shorter first session so we can see if it fits? A therapist who laughs off pet grief, or who tells you to get another dog, is the wrong therapist. Walk away and find another.
How do I choose between a group, a helpline, and a therapist?
A helpline is for right now. It is anonymous, short, and available when the night is at its worst. A group is for the weeks after. It meets regularly, and the healing comes partly from hearing other people say the things you thought only you felt. A therapist is for grief that is stuck: as sharp after many months as in the first week, guilt that will not lift, or trouble eating or sleeping that does not ease.
If you look for a therapist, look for one experienced with pet loss or with the human animal bond, since a general grief counselor who does not take pet loss seriously can do more harm than good. Some offer a first session free, and some insurance plans cover it. And if a friend or family member is the one struggling, our guide on what to say to someone who lost a pet may help you support them.
Cost is a fair question, and the answer varies widely. Helplines and most support groups are free. A therapist usually charges, and the amount depends on where you live and whether they work privately or through a clinic. Many therapists list their fees on their profile, and some offer a lower fee if money is tight, which is called a sliding scale. It is always worth asking. Some health insurance plans cover grief counseling, so check your policy before you rule it out. A bad group has signs worth watching for: no moderator, one person talking for the whole hour, anyone selling products or services, or a tone that shames people for still grieving. A good group feels the opposite: quiet, kind, and unhurried, with room for everyone and no pressure to perform grief in a particular way. If the first group does not fit, try another. The right room is out there.
What if I am in crisis?
If you feel you might harm yourself, please reach out right now. In the United States, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, free and confidential. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. These are not pet loss lines. They are for you. Asking for help in a crisis is not dramatic. It is the right call.
Frequently asked questions
Are these services free?
Many are. The APLB chat rooms, the university hotlines, and the Michigan State virtual group are free. Lap of Love offers free and fee based groups. Therapists usually charge, though some offer sliding scale fees.
Do I have to talk, or can I just listen?
Most groups are happy for you to listen. Saying "I am just here to listen tonight" is completely normal, and nobody will pressure you to share.
Is an online group as good as an in person group?
For many people, yes. It removes travel and lets you join from home at your worst. The important thing is the people and the moderation.
What if my friends say I should be over it by now?
That is exactly why these groups exist. Pet grief is often what psychologists call disenfranchised, which means the world around you does not treat it as a real loss. In a pet loss group, nobody will tell you to get over it.
Can I use a helpline before my pet dies?
Yes. Anticipatory grief, grieving a pet who is still alive, is one of the most common reasons people call. You do not have to wait to ask for support.
